Friday, July 26, 2019

Spiritual Pulled Up : A Strange Dream

Spiritual Pulled Up

A Strange Dream

Spiritual Pulled Up - A Strange Dream
by ©LeDomduVin 2019

I had a weird dream last night. Vivid and clear as if it was real. Bad or good omen, I couldn't say, but it felt strangely real and scary enough to wake me up shivering in fear as if it just happened. And made me wonder what could it mean…

I was outside, in a place I don't know, near a body of water. I couldn't tell if it was a sea or a lake, but it had no waves. It seemed that I was at a wedding, or some kind of celebration party, in a garden by a lake or some kind of a beach. The day was bright and blue. People were dressed in clear shades of white, beige and pink. For some reasons, my father was here and, as usual, I was having a strong discussion with him. A few other people sparsely placed around were curiously watching. 

We both seemed annoyed, arguing about the attitude of each other regarding some old issues of my past, badly resolved situations due to hasty decisions and wrong judgments both of us made at the time. Him accusing and pointing a straight finger at all my mistakes. Me desperately trying to make him see that in the context, back then, scarce were the solutions and opportunities to be able to do something about it. The argument seemed pointless and endless, as usual, exactly like in real life. 

When suddenly the scene took a dramatic turn, everything went into turmoil. The reception was flooded by slowly rising water, going up to our knees. The sunny weather, seconds ago, had turned grey and stormy. People seemed confused, almost panicking in dismay. And although standing just a few meters apart, the distance between us seemed to increase slightly as time slowed down respectively. The argument became more intense and incomprehensible. Nothing made any sense any more. 

It was at this moment that I felt like falling and being dragged underwater. It was dark, muddy and murky. The water had some kind of weird feel to it. It was heavy, more like pulp in a strange fluid rather than water, getting darker and murkier the deeper I sunk. It felt like a strange force was pulling me down underwater. An uncomfortable and uncontrollable fear echoed through every inch of my flesh and bones, as the emotions and dying sensations conflicting in my head seemed so real. My soul gently slipping out, leaving my body into limbo. Unable to breathe, I was drowning. 

My mouth was opened as if I was shouting in the water but no sound was coming out. My eyes were looking up for the fainting light, helplessly scrutinizing the darkness. My whole body trembled and heavy drops of sweat covered my forehead, neck and face. I was shaken by fear, emotions and sensations all at the same time. I couldn't move. Couldn't escape. Couldn't swim back up. The strange force pulling me down under felt dark and insensitive like I imagined death. There was no exit, no solution, just an irremediable fate. 

Although, not being a faithful practicant, having a rather convoluted relationship with the lord, and as darkness closed down on my inert and lifeless self, suffocating and semi-conscious, strangely enough, the first thing that came to my mind was: "Please God, be with me"... 

...the force, pulling me down under, unexpectedly vanished….. putting my descent to a rest… imminent death was unavoidable... time stood still and quiet… my body immobile in oblivion… dark became darker…. even silence sounded more silent... then I felt it… It came from below ... as indiscernible as the previous force, but brighter, sensitive and enveloping this time… as if two giant strong hands were supporting my back while pulling me up ... actually, more like, “carrying” me up rapidly to the surface…what may have lasted only a few seconds, seemed like an eternity to me… but I felt it… 

I felt something…. both spiritually and physically… both in my dream and in reality... it felt so real…. so present… a serene force… almost like a presence so unrealistically there… quasi perceptible… almost touchable… strong yet gentle… hopeful and reassuring… then I woke up as my head came out of the dark water…. feeling more intrigued than scared… left only with a feeling of the perception of something unexplainable and previously unfelt… 

It felt so strange and so real at the same time. It felt that it had a purpose. That it had responded to the internal distress which provoked my call to the divine. I was shivering, goosebumps all over, and the sweat had gone like it was never there. Everything was still dark but I was out of the water… out of my dream… laying down… thoughts and distinct moments of that rather peculiar dream racing through my head…. stills of this metaphorical vision imprinted in my brain... 

My eyes were still closed but I knew I was awake now. I had difficulty to open them and my mind was unsettled... as I felt that it communicated with me… not via words, but via sensations, emotions, feelings… sending waves of subliminal images and thoughts through my mind…. Which left me pondering... what was the meaning of this ephemeral yet powerful event? was it real? ...or was it just a dream? and what could it mean? was it a message? or a piece of advice in disguise? a way to tell me to be careful? to do something? or pay more attention to something? I don't know… I couldn't say… not sure… 

Yet, it felt so real to me… as the emotions and sensations were still going through my whole body, even if I was now fully awake… all my senses in alert as in fear it might come back…. like in shock after experiencing something deeply disconcerting... Yet, I felt like I had been rescued for a reason... like if it wasn't my time yet, it wasn't time for me to leave yet, something has to be done. Something, but what? about myself? my life? my work? my relationship with people in general? a parent? a friend? my father maybe?... what could it be... 

I had the sensation that this dream was not just a dream, it had a meaning, a purpose… about something anchored deep into my subconscious. Perhaps, something related to my past, acting in my present with consequences for my future. Something I need to change. Something I need to pull out and rescue from drowning deep inside myself. 

This strange dream left me thinking, as I wrote these lines shortly after waking up from it, that below my recurrent anxieties, fears and doubts, unable to have self-esteem and confidence, a strong potential has been asleep for years, waiting to be discovered and put to good use, and maybe it is reaching out to my subconscious for me to act on it. 

In any case, this dream left a mark somehow and an impression that something needs to be done or achieved for myself to be pulled out of the dark water I’m drowning in internally… 

Dominique Noel (a.k.a. LeDomduVin)

©LeDomduVin 26.07.2019

NB: I wrote this dream shortly after having it, to remember it and more especially to remember the strange experience of having such an impacting dream, both physically and emotionally. I have been having strange dreams like this one since as long as I can remember in my very young years. Some with the same depth but rarely (or very occasionally) with such intense impressions and sensations of being so real, that it felt it really happened. Most of my dreams with such intensity, emotions, sensations and feelings have always been about being underwater (usually in deep water) or being in the sky (like floating or even flying), both usually signs of anxiety, fears, doubts, overwhelming situations and/or need of escaping (being released from) a situation or a person. By all means, I'm no expert, but it does make sense to me.         

#lesrevesadom #leshistoiresadom #dream #stories #strangedream #ledomduvin @ledomduvin

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